Janey Godley's Blog

In 1979, I recall walking into work in my boyfriend’s dad's pub in the notorious area of The Calton in Glasgow. There seemed to be not many street lights outside and it felt very dark. The pub was full of drunk, young and old men. The only woman in there (other than me) was an ancient old prostitute who sat alone singing into her glass as the guys looked on laughing.

This was the same bar in the early 80s where some of its regulars had gang raped another drunk vulnerable woman and after getting bored with her, slashed her flesh so much that she almost died. Nicholas Fairbairn the infamous politician had to resign as he declared her gang rape and assault as 'not worthy of a trial' as she was a 'damaged woman'. It took a kind hearted lawyer to bring the first civil law suit to jail my customers and they served prison time. It was the Carol X case. Her rapists were guys who drank in my bar.

What am trying to say is some of the Glasgow men back then in The Calton didn't really respect women much. I witnessed this every day in that bar. Women were treated with utter disdain, abuse and I even witnessed women running away from the 'grabbing' men who all laughed heartily at their 'attempted assault'. The guys openly discussed the size of my breasts and sometimes when I ventured out into the main bar area to clear up they would make an effort to curtail their behaviour as my boyfriend's dad was not to be messed with, so I effectively was 'off limits'. I was safe.

Yet I was constantly shocked at the way they spoke about women, for example I had a guy in our bar who used to say he "Tarzaned" women, which was a reference to Tarzan grabbing a woman and swinging her away. 'Tarzaned' can be equally read as raped. Things slowly changed, the area changed, lots of those original guys became heroin addicts and were now not so cocky and either died or faded away or just gave up on life.

The 80s came along and new customers with families and jobs and self employed business's started using the pub and they weren't as 'grabby' or sexist or misogynistic as their predecessors.

But there was still an element of old school sexism in the air. Good news was - it was changing.

It's 2014 and we now have Dapper Laughs and Julien Blanc in the media telling us how to grab women by the throat for a dating technique or openly laughing at women and asking to 'smell their gash' and generally being demeaned by men in groups. I thought that was done.

I had hoped the term 'Tarzaned' was an isolated Glasgow urban myth....but its back and people now pay to hear it. Maybe I should open a 1979 theme bar and have men grabbing women as blokes laugh at the hilarity and we can have Dapper Laughs Vines on a loop, girls can giggle as they are throttled near the juke box and women can scream with pleasure at being noticed as they try to hide the smell of their gash near the boys!

Or men like Dapper Laughs and Julien Blanc can grow the fuck up and people who pay to see them can realise that one day their own daughters, sisters and female pals will suffer from this perpetuated 'lad syndrome' and maybe one day if things change WOMEN ONE DAY can walk into a bar without fear or humiliation from badly raised stupid men.

So thanks for reading, if you want follow me on twitter @JaneyGodley for updates and daily shenanigans.

Sorry my blog's have been less regular than promised...been hectic.

Picture the scene, I walk out of a gig at Edinburgh fringe, it's raining and am laughing and saying goodbye to some folks and I get straight into a cab as someone shouts "Loved the show Janey" and the taxi driver asks "Are you a comedian?" I reply quite proudly "Yes I am" and I forgot in my elation that I usually don't speak about comedy in taxi's as I know what he is going to say next...I forgot and before I could think another thing I heard him say the inevitable "Do you swear?".

I have my stock answer "I don't swear anymore than the male comics or less than the local priest".

That usually makes them look into their mirror and then I hear him say "Ah...your one of those feminist women" as if the only way I could possibly answer them back is because I have a political agenda and some buckwheat sandals that I wear as I breastfeed foundlings on my lactating pendulous braless titties.

"No more a feminist than most of the male comics but usually more than the local priest, have you ever asked a male comic if he swears?" I add and hopefully this will end this painfully awkward corner we have talked our way into.

I just pull on my headphones (always great to get out of these situations) and nod to music as he mouths some shit I cannot hear but his eyebrows look knotted and angry.

I don't know why 'swearing' is something that female's have to be told not to do. Is it really that bad? Has anyone ever really hated Kevin Bridges, Frankie Boyle and Billy Connolly's language onstage to the point where they discuss with a pursed mouth?

Dara O'Briain says the word 'Feck' live on television, we all know it means 'fuck' does Dara get belittled for being an uneducated ill-informed swearer? No, he doesn't he is one of Ireland's most intelligent funny men.

So it is a class issue? I have seen very well spoken middle class English women swear in comedy and somehow it is more acceptable, especially if said by 'apparent slip of the tongue' or by the medium of a 'puppet' (see Nina Conti's filthy mouthed Monkey).

Does my swearing sound worse because I am a working class Scottish woman?

If I was a Oxbridge graduate swearing onstage would it be seen as 'urban and gritty' like a hipster getting angry at a flat tyre but in my accent does it sound really harsh and filthy and all you hear is a slovenly washer woman taking us back years with her filthy language?

Recently I attended a "Vote Yes" event for Scottish creative's.

All lovely people, authors, musicians in a Glasgow basement.

The male author swore, the musician had some choice language in his songs and not a word was spoken, but the female (who spouts the values a gender equality independence group) got up to introduce me she told the audience...

"Next up is comedian Janey Godley, she might use offensive language so if you are easily offended, please bear this in mind".

I walked to the stage so angry. I know she didn't do it to hurt me but despite being part of a gender equality group she was hardwired to apologise for a woman before that woman spoke. She never apologised after the men onstage swore. I never got that chance. The audience were told I was probably going to be offensive.

One day this will end.

So thanks for reading, if you want follow me on twitter @JaneyGodley for updates and daily shenanigans.

The rain featured heavily at this year's fringe festival, it was everywhere and everyone was talking about it. Bloody rain, doesn't need to pay PR yet gets front page news and was the word of mouth around town. I saw the rain ruin my favourite Underbelly's VIP bar The Abattoir. Am sad.

You see it doesn't matter how many minor royals attended your house party- the Scottish rain will batter you and soak your temporary garden centre for artistic type smokers and it will do it relentlessly until your ceilings bow and pretty girls in tea dresses and men in winged collars and top hats have to sit on a damp chaise lounge. I sat there as the water ran down my sad face near a petrified stuffed fox and wonky piano. It left me with trenchfoot.

It's Scottish rain, it's a sign of freedom, it will never stop until we all grow gills.

It also completely soaked the mock Tudor castle pancake/burger area at Gilded Balloon. People sat near a fake English roundhead soldier/archer in his plywood castle (no idea what that has to do with the Gilded Balloon or comedy) and they ate noodles smattered with rain.

It wasn't fun anymore and nobody could control it.

The BBC Potterow area was drenched, like the Scottish clouds somehow knew that hardly any Scottish comics featured on their big live line up shows in our own capital city and so in one last attempt at sticking two fingers up to the London BBC - it pissed gallons of water on it. Like Salmond himself was standing atop a monstrous inflatable sheep and emptying his giant bladder over the soft southern media types who insist in their blogs that we still eat deep fried mars bars and can't impregnate a panda.

The rain was awesome this year, am going to even say it was a mark of feminism (just to ensure some click bait).

But this was the year of THE FREE SHOWS.

Finally we witnessed the tremors of tingly fear of losing money from the big venue owners (this sleepless fear is normally assigned to comedians who are brought here by big London Agencies who ensure they are indentured slaves for the next six years as they work off their Edinburgh debt).

Yes some shows sold out fine, the ones with people 'aff the telly' and 'famous and young looking' did as well as can be expected. But the hundreds of other peripheral shows that prop up the rent/staff charges and are the backbone of the actual artistic end of the fringe (depending on your view) did not get the audience it expected. The FREE SHOWS were there to plug the gap.

The Free Shows were heaving and buckets were full of brown coloured Scottish notes. I went round 7 free shows on a Monday night, they were busy and watched comics rake in £90-£800 on a weekday night.

The BBC Potterow is also a 'free show' as it cannot charge for tickets therefore it's all day events sucked in thousands of people daily to its many shows. Their pay off is "we showcase many artists on the fringe and encourage people to attend shows" yes...but not if you are a Scottish comedian as they rarely had any of my Scottish comedy contemporary's on -but maybe Scottish people's licence fee cash isn't important to BBC? Who knows?

Some canny eagle eyed pundits of the fringe have said that many Scots in this year of referendum went up to The Stand ( a Scottish stalwart on the circuit and all year round Scottish comedy club) and spent their money there, in an act of spending their political pound - whilst they still have it.

I would like to find out if there is any truth in that theory and ask if the 'other side of town' got as much rain as the Bristo square area as a backup for the answer.

Me? I don't think it has anything to do with the referendum. I think for many years the fringe had outgrown its tag as the 'slightly edgy brother' to the elitist Edinburgh Festival and now has became too corporate for its own good (this has been said for many years now).

So organically as always happens in the 'arts' the FREE SHOWS have spawned their own 'freedom of expression and free to you' events and they have award winning comics to back it up.

When I mentioned FREE SHOWS on social media, people got back to me and said things like "I saw great shows and utter crap in the big paid venues but at least in the FREE SHOWS you can decide if you pay for that crap".

Some big venue owners have hit back with an amazing 'good question’.

"Well how do we know the comics collecting all that bucket cash are paying tax on it?"

My answer is two fold- if you are worried about the morals of comedians paying tax then make sure you never hire a comic who has a specific tax lawyer on their pay roll. That should salve your tax moral dilemma problems right there.

Secondly, who are you to worry about who is paying tax? Is this your new job?

So there we have it. Tax worries/ ticket worries and rain.

Next year after many years at paid venues I am coming to the fringe with a FREE SHOW.

A few reasons, we already do a podcast and ask for donations every week and the investment from people is amazing. Also I have noticed that my audience over the years are mainly older people (which is cool) with younger folk assuming my comedy is not accessible for them.

The other reason is, I want to support the FREE SHOWS and see how that grows up against the 'Fringe Festival'. Social media has changed everything, we can let people know where the gig is and even have a paypal link for shows? Who knows?

I think the FREE SHOWS would open me up to a wider age group with younger people taking more of a chance and if you listened to our podcast 'Janey Godley's Podcast' you would know my comedy is ageless and not some cupcake, knitting catalogue of grumpy observations.

So there we have it. Tremors have been felt, next year "we need a new business model for the fringe" is the latest buzz phrase.

I think we need a roof.

So thanks for reading, if you want follow me on twitter @JaneyGodley for updates and daily shenanigans.

(Please be aware that this Podcast Contains strong language)

In episode 212 of Janey Godley's podcast the mother and daughter comedy duo that is Janey and Ashley are LIVE at the Edinburgh Fringe. They discuss comedy, shows and the ethos of what the fringe actually is and has become.

They are sitting backstage at the artists bar called The Abattoir and you can hear the music from the Underbelly. Janey tells us about a new play called The Collector and Ashley speaks about an Iranian play she took part in.

Mother and Daughter comedy team get to natter and the world gets to hear it on Janey Godley’s podcasts, expect some bawdy language and home truths, as Janey Godley and Ashley Storrie lead you down the roads less taken in their fantastic weekly podcast. Listen as mother and daughter banter, bait and burst with laughter.

Janey Godley Podcast at: Episode 212

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